Alexander Kobulnicky

It’s always surprising, the way dairy products can ferment.

I bought a gallon of milk today from the bad grocery store, and when I went to try it, I found flecks of very dry cheese-like material on the cap. Inside, the milk is as sweet and thin as ever, but it has a real flavor of parmesan cheese, which I assume is butyric acid or diacetyl, and I suppose that something has happened to the butterfat. It certainly doesn’t taste spoiled in any ordinary way, like the casein has broken down — just very very savory.

I sometimes eat butter that’s been sitting out for days and days, and I like that Continental tang, but I have to admit that a gallon of liquid parmesan might be too delicious even for me. But I also feel bad pouring so much of this rare and potentially valuable liquid down the drain. If anybody wants some cultured milk, let me know. We can do a deal.